Introduction To My Blog Series: Living Successfully With Borderline Personality Disorder & Histrionic Personality Disorder
I was 27 years old when I entered into the realization that there was something wrong with me and one of the original diagnosis was Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD.
I say something wrong with me because I was just not able to manage my life on my own and somehow knew there was something wrong with my mind.
Back then, not a lot was known about this horribly stigmatized disorder because BPD patients were considered impossible to treat or wrongly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.
Along with BPD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) and Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (DDNOS) were also added to my diagnostic mix.
ADHD was quickly debunked and over the past two decades most professionals leaned towards my having PTSD or a Dissociative Disorder – but something about these disorders never seemed to fit.
Add menopause to the mix and the confusion became even more confusing.
Anxiety
Here are past blogs I’ve written about my struggles with anxiety and what felt like PTSD or DDNOS:
- Managing Anxiety -The Space of No Mind
- Managing Anxiety and the Mind of Choice
- Anxiety – The Antithesis of Personal Connection
- Anxiety & Cannabidiol (CBD) & Exercise
- Trauma, Flashbacks and Dissociative Disorders
- AM I: In a Panic Attack or Trauma Response or Dissociation or Menopause? How Do I Tell The Difference?
My Struggles With Alcoholism
2018
- Mystic Order – Reiki Level 3A – 21 Day Cleanse – My Alcoholism Is Gone
- Spiritual Discipline – My Alcohol Addiction – My Story Now
- Personal Development – Still Alcohol Free
2019
- Is Too Much a Choice or Addiction?
- Personal Development – After 10 Months – This Wild Woman Is Drinking Again
- Personal Development – This Wild Woman Still Struggles With Alcohol
- Reiki Principle For Today – I Will Not Worry
2020
- One Year No Beer – 28-Day Alcohol Free Challenge
- Personal Development – A Wild Woman Redefined? Absolutely!
- Personal Development – Living Alcohol Free – Day 78
2021
2023
2024
2025
- Overthinking & The Joys Of Living My Twenty-Four Hour AA Program
- From Anxiety To Sobriety: My Life Journey From 52 – 56
- Am I Willing To Trust In God?
- The Distinct Languages of AA, DBT & CPT
Present Day
On February 9th, 2022, I had a thorough psychological assessment by a seasoned psychiatrist. At long last, at 52 years old, I was finally properly diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorder.
This blog series called Owning and Unraveling Borderline Personality Disorder & Histrionic Personality Disorder is my way of processing and understanding these complex personality disorders and how they manifest, interfere with and enhance my life.
Perhaps, as it has been said to me from friends who have family members with Borderline Personality Disorder, I can help dispel misconceptions and stigmas associated with these mental illnesses.
And hopefully I can shed some light and more personal information on what living with Histrionic Personality Disorder is like as I review each symptom and diagnostic criteria and how they show up (past or present) in my life.
With hope,
Stephanie, 🩵🌻
Feeling The World
Having BPD means I emotionally feel the world much more intensity than the general population.
To me, this is a super power and a curse.
Before I was properly diagnosed, I did not know what was causing my over-the-top emotional reactions to the world.
I felt cursed as I could not understand why life consistently felt so overwhelmingly hard for me, while I’ve been trying so hard for it not to be.
I continually struggle to settle into life.
Now, with this proper diagnosis, I finally understand why I feel the world so much more than most.
I understand why I struggle.
Now, I can start to feel more at ease with the positive side of this ability.
This ability is my super power to emotionally read a room.
Empathic Ability – A Super Power
Being able to emotionally read a room can also be called an empathic ability.
According to Borderline Personality for Dummies by Charles H. Elliott and Laura L. Smith,
Sometimes people with BPD appear surprisingly able to read cues from other people. They seem almost able to enter other people’s psyches and become one in the same. However, most of the time, people with BPD fail to grasp the reasons behind and the implications of what people are thinking and feeling. In other words, they know what other people are feeling, but they don’t understand why they’re feeling that way or what their feelings mean.
Borderline Personality for Dummies by Charles H. Elliott and Laura L. Smith, – Page 108-109
I’ve always known I have the ability to sense other people’s thoughts and emotions.
The problem was/is is I don’t trust what I am sensing.
I’ve always assumed negative intent, worst case scenario, or something very all or nothing in my general ability to translate what my senses are picking up in others.
I foresee Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) will help teach me to “trust” my inner voice that speaks from my Wise Mind.
DBT – Three States of Mind
This week, a therapy goal is to visual DBT’s three minds before I start going sideways and spiral down into an emotional intensity that does not match the situation.
By doing this, I remind myself I am heading too far into Emotional Mind and have to make my way to Wise Mind.
This is an Intentional Intervention to move me from Emotional Mind into Wise Mind.
Photo Credit – Cam’s Kids
Intentional Intervention
My therapist explained this term as a way of stopping the tsunami sized wave of Borderline emotional intensity before it hits.
An Intentional Intervention is used when a situation presents itself and I struggle to manage it.
Examples of Intentional Interventions are:
- Cold Water – Divers Response when emotions are too intense to get out of
- Rigorous Exercise – to release the intense emotions flooding my body
- Ride out the emotions – instead of judging or trying to figure them out
- Mindfulness and meditation to help understand emotions (bring me to Wise Mind) after I’ve settled down
As mentioned, I think DBT has many intentional interventions that will help me navigate BPD.
S, 🌻
Quick Links To The Blogs In This Series Living Successfully With BPD & HPD:
Borderline Personality Disorder
Forget Everything I’ve Said – I’ve Borderline Personality Disorder & Histrionic Personality Disorder
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Introduction to Symptoms & Causes
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Strong Opinions & Identity Crisis
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Not PTSD – It’s Emotions – Borderline Style
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Empathic Abilities & Intentional Interventions
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Overlapping Symptoms & What Type Of & How BPD Am I?
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Starting EMDR – Creating New Pathways To Calm
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – The Pros and Cons of Medical THC & CBD
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Gratitude For A Wild & Crazy Life
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Behind My Mona Lisa Smile – What BPD Feels Like For Me
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – The Hulk Uses Dialectical Behaviour Therapy
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Coping With The Inner Critic
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Unstable & Fragile Identities
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Highlights Of DBT’s Emotional Regulation Skills
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Highlights Of DBT’s Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills
Living With Borderline Personally Disorder – DBT – Skills Thermometer – A DBT Skills Anchor Chart
Histrionic Personality Disorder
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Introduction & Symptoms & Diagnostic Criteria
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Shallow, Changeable Emotions
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Assumed Intimacy With Others
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Hypersensitivity To Criticism
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Manipulative Behaviour
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Sexually Provocative Behaviour
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – A Compulsive Desire For Attention
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Preoccupation With Appearance
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Suggestible & Easily Influenced
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