Last night during a Nova Scotia based Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Zoom Meeting that I attend on a somewhat regular basis, a member joined us from the UK. It was his first time to this meeting.
When he shared, he had a calm knowing about him and radiated a spirituality that inspired me.
He rhetorically asked:
Am I willing to trust God?
Am I willing to leave any worries I have with Him?
He immediately anchored my attention.
How can I trust in a God when I struggle to trust myself and others?
How can I trust a God when I don’t believe in a God created by religion?
What is God?
What or Who is the God of my Understanding?
Am I An Agnostic?
Am I an agnostic?
a person who believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God.
or
a person who has an uncertain or non-committal attitude towards something
Such as believing in God.
Language of AA
For the past three months, on an ongoing weekly basis, I’ve been steeped in the scientific language of Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) with my therapist.
As a result of this, I feel far removed from AA’s spiritual program, and its language of having a God of my Understanding.
I talk about this in my blog: The Distinct Languages of AA, DBT & CPT.
Science – Fear & Anxiety & Human Evolution
It is a scientific fact that as a result of its evolutionary history, our brains are hard-wired for survival, not to live in a state of peaceful bliss.
To me, there are two states of a fear-based brain.
There is the evolutionary fear-based mind that is triggered into a Trauma Response which has required, for me, the therapeutic skills of CPT.
A trauma response is an instinctive reaction to perceived threats or distressing experiences often manifesting as flight, fight, freeze or fawn. Basically, my fear-based overreaction or avoidant reaction does not match the situation.
The other fear-based brain is the evolutionary, survival mind.
Such as a natural fear of a lion or anxiety if the lion is nearby but can’t hurt me.
But today’s world has evolved into this plethora of ugly uncertainties, flooding us via the fake world of social media or doom scrolling the news.
Humans have a desire for certainty. Today’s uncertain world is a natural breeding ground for fear and anxiety.
Therefore, the practice of prayer, mindfulness and meditation takes skillful awareness and work to calm the evolutionary fear-based mind as we navigate this crazy, disconnected world.
Back To God – What Is God?
If my brain is evolutionarily hard-wired for survival, then how do I connect with God?
All matter contains energy.
Therefore, I think there is a Supernatural Benevolent Energy that connects all living things.
This Supernatural Benevolent Energy is kinda like Quantum Entanglement.
When one particle is disturbed, its connected particle is simultaneously disturbed as well.
Have you ever noticed how the energies of laugher or anxiety is contagious?
How a horse can sense your fear?
A dog can sense your laughter?
But Does This Quantum Entanglement Like Supernatural Benevolent Energy Have A Consciousness?
For the sake of an easier read, I will call this Quantum Entanglement like Supernatural Benevolent Energy, God.
Does God have a consciousness?
I guess that is THE question and why God is a mystery
And how those who have faith in a non-religious God, have faith in the mystery.
I do think humans have the ability to tap into this God (Quantum Entanglement like Supernatural Benevolent Energy) through quiet time spent in nature or sitting in prayer or meditation. This time spent results with a connection to spiritual principles, such as AA’s 12 Spiritual Principles:
Spiritual Principles – God Given or Innate Human Nature?
When I’m silent and listen within, am I guided by God and its spiritual principles to do the next-right-thing?
Or when I’m silent and listen within, am I guided by therapeutic skill-based teachings and innate spiritual principles to do the next-right-thing?
Is the next-right-thing carrying out God’s will for me?
If God is a mystery, then how do I know what the will of God is and how do I know what God’s will is for me?
Or am I tapping into my own human nature that knows the difference between right and wrong based on innate spiritual principles ?
But, if my brain is hard-wired for human survival then where do the innate spiritual principles come from?
What do I believe?
Maybe I need to be more like Anna, from Disney’s Frozen, and instead of wondering whose voice it is – I’ll just make a choice, to hear that inner voice, and do the next right thing.
When I Have Faith In God, What Am I Having Faith In Exactly?
Faith is defined as a strong belief or trust in something, often without tangible proof, particularity significant in religious contexts as trust in God and His promises.
** Definition by Google AI Search
The bible records promises God made to his people. I didn’t know this, or more specifically I didn’t think of it this way.
Therefore, in context of religion, I guess when someone turns everything over to Let Go, Let God, they are having faith in those promises God made to his people.
But what about the religious people who don’t get the promises from God?
What does that mean for or about them?
AA’s Promises
Page #58 of AA’s Big Book says:
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a matter of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. The are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
Therefore, when I do the 12-Steps and follow the AA path, there are promises made for me in AA’s Big Book.
Such as Step #9 and the 9th Step Promises on pages 83-84 in AA’s Big Book.
As well as Step #10 and the 10th Step Promises on page 84-85 in AA’s Big Book.
All of these promises and my sobriety are contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual program; my connection to the God of my Understanding, a power greater than myself.
Difference Between God’s Bible Promises & AA’s Big Book Promises?
So, what are the main differences between God’s promises to his people in the bible and AA’s promises to its members in the Big Book?
Big question.
I haven’t studied the bible.
I have initially studied parts of AA’s Big Book.
I do not know enough to comment on this.
We Agnotics
AA’s Big Book has a chapter for agnostics. On page #55, there is a paragraph I would be remiss if I did not include it here.
…for deep down in every man, woman and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.
We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was a part of our make-up, just as much as the feeling we have for a friend. Sometimes we had to search fearlessly, but He was there. He was as much a fact as we were. We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that he may be found. It was so with us.
I agree with this.
That God is within us, and in every living thing on Earth.
As a Reiki Master, who hasn’t practiced in a long time, but still know something magical happens when I either give or receive energy work.
I can’t see Reiki.
I feel it.
Just like God, I can’t see God.
I feel God.
Am I Willing To Trust In God?
Einstein famously referred to Quantum Entanglement as “spooky action at a distance”.
Maybe that is why God is a mystery, because the Universe is a mystery.
AA’s Step #3 says to make a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand him.
My understanding of God is a Quantum Entanglement like Supernatural Benevolent Energy.
Does my understanding of God have a consciousness? Who knows. It’s part of the mystery.
Do I trust this God of Quantum Entanglement like Supernatural Benevolent Energy ?
I guess that’s the journey.
To take this intellectualizing of the God of my Understanding from my head, down to my heart.
To start feeling it, then start trusting it.
Only then will I truly find peace as I trust enough to unload the burdens, and Let Go Let God.
S, 🌻
My Struggles With Alcoholism
2018
- Mystic Order – Reiki Level 3A – 21 Day Cleanse – My Alcoholism Is Gone
- Spiritual Discipline – My Alcohol Addiction – My Story Now
- Personal Development – Still Alcohol Free
2019
- Is Too Much a Choice or Addiction?
- Personal Development – After 10 Months – This Wild Woman Is Drinking Again
- Personal Development – This Wild Woman Still Struggles With Alcohol
- Reiki Principle For Today – I Will Not Worry
2020
- One Year No Beer – 28-Day Alcohol Free Challenge
- Personal Development – A Wild Woman Redefined? Absolutely!
- Personal Development – Living Alcohol Free – Day 78
2021
2023
2024
2025
- Overthinking & The Joys Of Living My Twenty-Four Hour AA Program
- From Anxiety To Sobriety: My Life Journey From 52 – 56
- Am I Willing To Trust In God?
- The Distinct Languages of AA, DBT & CPT
The fact that you are asking questions about God is the first step in knowing Him.
For me, I find that I can trust God even at times I don’t feel like I can trust some humans…