Introduction To My Blog Series: Living Successfully With Borderline Personality Disorder & Histrionic Personality Disorder
I was 27 years old when I entered into the realization that there was something wrong with me and one of the original diagnosis was Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD.
I say something wrong with me because I was just not able to manage my life on my own and somehow knew there was something wrong with my mind.
Back then, not a lot was known about this horribly stigmatized disorder because BPD patients were considered impossible to treat or wrongly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.
Along with BPD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) and Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (DDNOS) were also added to my diagnostic mix.
ADHD was quickly debunked and over the past two decades most professionals leaned towards my having PTSD or a Dissociative Disorder – but something about these disorders never seemed to fit.
Add menopause to the mix and the confusion became even more confusing.
Anxiety
Here are past blogs I’ve written about my struggles with anxiety and what felt like PTSD or DDNOS:
- Managing Anxiety -The Space of No Mind
- Managing Anxiety and the Mind of Choice
- Anxiety – The Antithesis of Personal Connection
- Anxiety & Cannabidiol (CBD) & Exercise
- Trauma, Flashbacks and Dissociative Disorders
- AM I: In a Panic Attack or Trauma Response or Dissociation or Menopause? How Do I Tell The Difference?
My Struggles With Alcoholism
2018
- Mystic Order – Reiki Level 3A – 21 Day Cleanse – My Alcoholism Is Gone
- Spiritual Discipline – My Alcohol Addiction – My Story Now
- Personal Development – Still Alcohol Free
2019
- Is Too Much a Choice or Addiction?
- Personal Development – After 10 Months – This Wild Woman Is Drinking Again
- Personal Development – This Wild Woman Still Struggles With Alcohol
- Reiki Principle For Today – I Will Not Worry
2020
- One Year No Beer – 28-Day Alcohol Free Challenge
- Personal Development – A Wild Woman Redefined? Absolutely!
- Personal Development – Living Alcohol Free – Day 78
2021
2023
2024
2025
- Overthinking & The Joys Of Living My Twenty-Four Hour AA Program
- From Anxiety To Sobriety: My Life Journey From 52 – 56
- Am I Willing To Trust In God?
- The Distinct Languages of AA, DBT & CPT
Present Day
On February 9th, 2022, I had a thorough psychological assessment by a seasoned psychiatrist. At long last, at 52 years old, I was finally properly diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorder.
This blog series called Owning and Unraveling Borderline Personality Disorder & Histrionic Personality Disorder is my way of processing and understanding these complex personality disorders and how they manifest, interfere with and enhance my life.
Perhaps, as it has been said to me from friends who have family members with Borderline Personality Disorder, I can help dispel misconceptions and stigmas associated with these mental illnesses.
And hopefully I can shed some light and more personal information on what living with Histrionic Personality Disorder is like as I review each symptom and diagnostic criteria and how they show up (past or present) in my life.
With hope,
Stephanie, 🩵🌻
Is This Effective?
Ideas for practicing effectiveness is a Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) mindfulness technique from DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition, by Marsha M. Linehan.
There is a step-by-step process outlined in the above mentioned worksheets that, as I applied it, truly helped me begin to observe my intense anger and hostility – as I asked myself – Is this effective?
It is so simple, it can be a truly effective life skill for anyone!
- Observe when you begin to get angry or hostile with someone.
- Ask yourself, “Is this effective?”
- Observe yourself when you start wanting to be “right”instead of effective.
- Give up being “right” and switch to being effective.
- Notice willfulness in yourself. Ask yourself, “Is this effective?”
- According to Dictionary.com – willful is defined as unreasonably stubborn or headstrong
- Drop willfulness, and practice acting effectively instead.
- Notice the difference.
- When feeling angry or hostile or like you are going to do something ineffective, practice Willing Hands.
- Other – My therapist added this suggestion:
- Highlight for myself the difference it makes for me to be in the moment (mindfulness) and how it increases my effectiveness.
Intentional Shift – Willing Hands Half Smile
Just try this – sit with your hands turned up and bring a half-smile to your face when you are feeling emotionally distressed or judging yourself and/or others.
This strategy is an intentional shift – to recognizing what is happening in the moment – to then help calm you down or switch from judgement to observation.
You are “faking non-judgement and effectiveness” until you can actually make it.
Walking the Middle Path – Finding the Synthesis Between Opposites
This is a brand new concept for me.
My therapist spoke about how family and friends can be both loved and feared.
How family and friends can be both fun and mean.
How no one is all bad or all good.
My brain struggles with this, as trust is an issue.
Walking the middle path – finding the synthesis between opposites is a Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) mindfulness technique from DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition, by Marsha M. Linehan.
The examples given are:
- Reasonable Mind – Emotion Mind:
- Both regulate actions and make decisions based on reason, AND takes into account values and experience as strong emotions come up.
- Doing Mind – Nothing-To-Do Mind:
- Both do what is needed in the moment (including reviewing the past or planning for the future), AND experience fully the uniqueness of each moment in the moment.
- Intense Desire For Change Of The Moment – Radical Acceptance Of The Moment
- Both allow yourself to have an intense desire to have something else than what is now AND be willing to radically accept what you have in your life in the present moment.
- Self-Denial – Self-Indulgence:
- Both practice moderation AND satisfy the senses.
As mentioned, this is a brand new concept for me – one I look forward to learning more about.
I also think I’ve listened to this philosophy from Calm’s meditation teacher, Jeff Warren.
That is it for now.
Rereading this blog will help me absorb this information.
S, 🌼
Quick Links To The Blogs In This Series Living Successfully With BPD & HPD:
Borderline Personality Disorder
Forget Everything I’ve Said – I’ve Borderline Personality Disorder & Histrionic Personality Disorder
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Introduction to Symptoms & Causes
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Strong Opinions & Identity Crisis
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Not PTSD – It’s Emotions – Borderline Style
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Empathic Abilities & Intentional Interventions
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Overlapping Symptoms & What Type Of & How BPD Am I?
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Starting EMDR – Creating New Pathways To Calm
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – The Pros and Cons of Medical THC & CBD
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Gratitude For A Wild & Crazy Life
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Behind My Mona Lisa Smile – What BPD Feels Like For Me
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – The Hulk Uses Dialectical Behaviour Therapy
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Coping With The Inner Critic
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Unstable & Fragile Identities
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Highlights Of DBT’s Emotional Regulation Skills
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Highlights Of DBT’s Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills
Living With Borderline Personally Disorder – DBT – Skills Thermometer – A DBT Skills Anchor Chart
Histrionic Personality Disorder
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Introduction & Symptoms & Diagnostic Criteria
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Shallow, Changeable Emotions
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Assumed Intimacy With Others
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Hypersensitivity To Criticism
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Manipulative Behaviour
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Sexually Provocative Behaviour
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – A Compulsive Desire For Attention
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Preoccupation With Appearance
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Suggestible & Easily Influenced
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