Living With Borderline Personality Disorder - Overlapping Symptoms & What Type Of & How BPD Am I?

Introduction To My Blog Series: Living Successfully With Borderline Personality Disorder & Histrionic Personality Disorder

I was 27 years old when I entered into the realization that there was something wrong with me and one of the original diagnosis was Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD.

I say something wrong with me because I was just not able to manage my life on my own and somehow knew there was something wrong with my mind.

Back then, not a lot was known about this horribly stigmatized disorder because BPD patients were considered impossible to treat or wrongly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.

Along with BPD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) and Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (DDNOS) were also added to my diagnostic mix.

ADHD was quickly debunked and over the past two decades most professionals leaned towards my having PTSD or a Dissociative Disorder – but something about these disorders never seemed to fit.

Add menopause to the mix and the confusion became even more confusing.

Anxiety

Here are past blogs I’ve written about my struggles with anxiety and what felt like PTSD or DDNOS:

My Struggles With Alcoholism

Present Day

On February 9th, 2022, I had a thorough psychological assessment by a seasoned psychiatrist. At long last, at 52 years old, I was finally properly diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorder.

This blog series called Owning and Unraveling Borderline Personality Disorder & Histrionic Personality Disorder is my way of processing and understanding these complex personality disorders and how they manifest, interfere with and enhance my life.

Perhaps, as it has been said to me from friends who have family members with Borderline Personality Disorder, I can help dispel misconceptions and stigmas associated with these mental illnesses.

And hopefully I can shed some light and more personal information on what living with Histrionic Personality Disorder is like as I review each symptom and diagnostic criteria and how they show up (past or present) in my life.

With hope,

Stephanie, 🩵🌻

October 28th, 2016 - Al Safliya Island, Qatar - Lovin' being a kayak tour guide in Qatar! — October 28th, 2016 – Al Safliya Island, Qatar – Lovin’ being a kayak tour guide in Qatar!

Overlapping Symtoms

Diagnosing BPD can be quite challenging as its symptoms overlap the symptoms of other mental health disorders like:

Major Depressive Disorder (MDD)
Dissociative Identity Disorder Not Other Wise Specified (DDNOS)
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)/Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD).

As well, BPD symptoms overlap the symptoms of neurodivergent minds like:

Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD)
Autism

For many years, I was misdiagnosed with PTSD, DDNOS and ADHD.

CPTSD was even put on the table, just before my appropriate diagnosis of BPD in 2022.

Four Types Of Borderline Personality Disorders

Recently, I’ve discovered there are 4 types of Borderline Personality Disorder.

So, What Type OF & How BPD Am I?

So, what type of BPD am I?

And, just how BPD am I?

I don’t know.

I wasn’t one who practiced self-harm like cutting and attempted suicide.

I’ve had suicidal thoughts – would call 911 – but didn’t want to die – I felt so empty, so lonely, so lost and without hope – my 911 calls were a cry for help.

In my twenties, fear of abandonment was my most pervasive, troublesome symptom, as well as a strong need for approval and acceptance. Those symptoms were debilitating for me. Chronic and painful to the point of severe anxiety and panic attacks. I didn’t know who or what I was. It was terrifying, confusing and brutal to navigate.

Recently, I was speaking with a school psychologist about BPD, and her experience is that BPD settles over time.

As a woman now in her 50’s, I can agree with this conclusion based on my own life experience of how BPD has manifested in my 20’s and up until now.

I do wonder – has my BPD slowly settled because of getting older and the positive outcomes of current life choices resulting in a degree of contentment?

I don’t know.

Thankfully, I do not experience abandonment and a strong need for approval and acceptance like I did in my twenties.

That said…

I still experience tsunami sized emotions, impulsivity, worries about abandonment, unclear and unstable self-concept, emptiness, and dissociation: feeling out of touch with reality.

Sometimes I feel like an empty shell – disconnected with my environment and my heart – with who I really am.

Hopefully, with the continued work with my therapist, I will start to have a better sense of myself as new DBT skills are introduced to me.

S, 🌻

Quick Links To The Blogs In This Series Living Successfully With BPD & HPD:

Borderline Personality Disorder

Forget Everything I’ve Said – I’ve Borderline Personality Disorder & Histrionic Personality Disorder

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Introduction to Symptoms & Causes

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder & Histrionic Personality Disorder – Rambling Through Confusion Towards Clarity

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Bits On Biosocial Theory & Learning To Ride Out Intense Emotions Rather Than Focusing On Why I Am Having Them

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Strong Opinions & Identity Crisis

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Not PTSD – It’s Emotions – Borderline Style

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Empathic Abilities & Intentional Interventions

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Overlapping Symptoms & What Type Of & How BPD Am I?

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – DBT’s Mindful Breathing & Participating With Awareness – Grounding Words

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder & Histrionic Personality Disorder – The Stigma & Social Pariah Of Personality Disorders

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Is This Effective & Willing Hands Half Smile & The Middle Path

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Starting EMDR – Creating New Pathways To Calm

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – The Pros and Cons of Medical THC & CBD

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder & HistrionicPersonality Disorder – Amber Heard VS Johnny Depp

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Gratitude For A Wild & Crazy Life

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Anxious – Ambivalent (Preoccupied) Attachment Style & Fear of Abandonment

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Behind My Mona Lisa Smile – What BPD Feels Like For Me

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – The Hulk Uses Dialectical Behaviour Therapy

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – DBT Skills Need Time & Everyday Practice To Become A Part Of Me

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Coping With The Inner Critic

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Unstable & Fragile Identities

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Highlights Of DBT’s Mindfulness & Distress Tolerance Skills

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Highlights Of DBT’s Emotional Regulation Skills

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – My Ability To Self-Validate Grows When I Live In Alignment With My Values

Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Highlights Of DBT’s Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills

Living With Borderline Personally Disorder – DBT – Skills Thermometer – A DBT Skills Anchor Chart

Histrionic Personality Disorder

Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Introduction & Symptoms & Diagnostic Criteria

Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Shallow, Changeable Emotions

Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Assumed Intimacy With Others

Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Hypersensitivity To Criticism

Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Manipulative Behaviour

Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Sexually Provocative Behaviour

Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – A Compulsive Desire For Attention

Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Preoccupation With Appearance

Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Suggestible & Easily Influenced

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