Originally Published: March 14th, 2021

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What Are Mind Games?

According to TherapyMantra, Mind Games are:

Psychological games are any interactions or behaviours we engage in that are used to manipulate or influence the thoughts, emotions, or behaviour of others.

They can be subtle or overt, and can be used to achieve a variety of goals, such as gaining control, getting what we want, or even punishing someone we perceive as being “bad.”

Many times we play psychological games without realizing it. We may think we’re just being friendly or trying to be assertive, but in reality, we’re using these games to get what we want.

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Types of Mind Games

These are popular Mind Games:

1. Playing the Victim so you feel sorry for them.
2. Blame-Shifting: It is always your fault.
3. Ghosting: Sudden disappearance for control.
4. Love Bombing: Intense affection followed by withdrawal.
5. Emotional manipulation to control your emotions (guilt tripping).
6. Passive-Aggressive Behaviour: Indirectly expressing feelings.
7. Self-esteem reduction: Constantly undermining how you feel about yourself (gas-lighting).
8. Triggering: Intentionally causing you distress.

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Gas Lighting – The Overused Term

I work at a high school.

I hear students say, “Stop gas lighting me” or “She’s gas lighting me” on a regular basis.

I shake my head because teens throw serious terms around without true understanding of them.

Another overused term I hear at work is labelling someone a narcissist.

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Narcissism

As mentioned, society seems obsessed on labeling someone a narcissist.

A narcissist will never truly assess their behaviour.

They will pretend to do so, but not change.

Narcissists are ego driven, view themselves as perfect, and do not see any reason to amend their ways.

I know a narcissist and have seen first hand how terrifying they can be.

This person knows all the right things to say.

Plays the victim like an Oscar-nominated actor.

Can fake emotions and “plays them well”.

Then switch to a bully in seconds, yanking the rug out from under your feet.

This person never takes responsibility for their actions, but will play the surface game that they are

Their true intention is saving face, their ego. It’s all about making themselves look good – protecting their image.

This person I am referring to leaves a trail of destruction and uses vast wealth to compensate.

When I am in the presence of this person, I keep my distance.

Afterwards, I typically am in trauma response; mildly dissociated and have to get my bearings.

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Intention is Key – To Hurt or To Love

We may play mind games without knowing it; or conditioned to do so because of our upbringing.

Who hasn’t laid a guilt-trip, ignore on purpose, or project the blame on the other person.

However, intention is the key ingredient of our use of mind games.

To use them on purpose to get what we want is manipulation.

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Awareness opens the door to understanding intentions.

Once we understand the intent for our behaviours, this begins a deeper understanding of who we are, what we want and how to communicate our needs.

We begin to shift from manipulating another to get our needs met to a mature, skillful and loving approach with each other.

S, ♥️

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55 Rules For Love

Introduction Of My Blog Series On The “55 Rules For Love”

55 Rules For Love – Rule #1 – When It Arrives, Cherish It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #2 – Whatever You Accept, You Will Get

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 3 – Understand That Love Is A Mirror – It Will Show Us Who We Are If We Allow It To

55 Rules For Love – Rule #4 – Only We Can Make Ourselves Happy, It Is Not The Other Person’s Responsibility

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 5 – Don’t Say Words With The Intent To Hurt

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 6 – Accept And Forgive Easily

55 Rules For Love – Rule #7 – Don’t Be Scared To Disagree, It Is Healthy

55 Rules For Love – Rule #8 – Never Be Too Busy For Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #9 – Do Not Punish

55 Rules For Love – Rule #10 – Accept Honest Criticism, It Is Good For Us

55 Rules For Love – Rule #11 – Admit When You Are Wrong, Quickly

55 Rules For Love – Rule #12 – Support Each Other When The Going Gets Tough

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 13 – Live In The Moment – Be Present

55 Rules For Love – Rule #14 – Leave The Past Where It Belongs

55 Rules For Love – Rule #15 – Leave Drama Out Of It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #16 – Don’t Try To Control

55 Rules For Love – Rule #17 – Allow A Small Amount of Jealousy

55 Rules For Love – Rule #18 – Don’t Use Comparisons

55 Rules For Love – Rule #19 – Celebrate Differences

55 Rules For Love – Rule #20 – Communicate Openly and Honestly

55 Rules For Love – Rule #21 – Listen Very Carefully

55 Rules For Love – Rule #22 – Don’t Judge

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 23 – Don’t Manipulate To Get Results

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 24 – Learn and Grow

55 Rules For Love – Rule #25 – Don’t Try To Change Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #26 – Don’t Condemn Each Other’s Family and Friends

55 Rules For Love – Rule #27 – Lines, Flaws and Imperfections are Beautiful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #28 – Trust Your Instincts, But Don’t Be Paranoid

55 Rules For Love – Rule #29 – Don’t Compromise Your Morals And Values And Don’t Expect Them To Either

55 Rules For Love – Rule #30 – Instead of Power, Aim For Balance

55 Rules for Love – Rule #31 – Space Is Needed To Breathe And To Grow

55 Rules for Love – Rule #32 – Accept That You Are Both Unique – Never Compare

55 Rules For Love – Rule #33 – Have Fun, Laugh and Play – A Lot

55 Rules For Love – Rule #34 – Be Each Other’s Best Friend

55 Rules For Love – Rule #35 – Don’t Play Mind Games

55 Rules For Love – Rule #36 – Do Not Carelessly Throw Away Love

55 Rules For Love – Rule #37 – Don’t Waste Energy With Negative Thoughts

55 Rules For Love – Rule #38 – Compliment Often

55 Rules For Love – Rule #39 – Discover Each Other

55 Rules For Love – Rule #40 – Be Attentive And Understand What’s Not Said

55 Rules For Love – Rule #41 – Do At Least One Romantic And Thoughtful Thing Every Day

55 Rules For Love – Rule #42 – Take Picnics And Sleep Under The Stars

55 Rules For Love – Rule #43 – Don’t Just Speak About It, Show Love

55 Rules For Love – Rule #44 – Walk Together, Cook Together, Bathe Together, Read Together

55 Rules For Love – Rule #45 – Do Not Be Afraid, Love Requires Surrender

55 Rules For Love – Rule #46 – Be Loyal And Faithful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #47 – Trust

55 Rules For Love – Rule # 48 – Be Grateful

55 Rules For Love – Rule #49 – Fluidity Is Good, Accept Change

55 Rules For Love – Rule #50 – Don’t Sleep On A Fight

55 Rules For Love – Rule #51 – Don’t Cling To It, Know When To Let Go

55 Rules For Love – Rule #52 – Discover What Turns You Both On And Explore It

55 Rules For Love – Rule #52 – Make Love, But Also F*ck (Regularly)

55 Rules For Love – Rule #54 – Give And Receive Without Measure

55 Rules For Love – Rule #55 – Never Gamble With What You Can’t Afford To Lose

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