Originally Published: February 15th, 2025
2026
While driving, I tend to have a heavy foot on the gas pedal.
I tend to drive beyond the speed limit, especially on the highway.
This is intentional, and I am very aware while driving to be on the lookout for ghost police cars and marked patrol vehicles.
I’m not a reckless driver, I just find myself very impatient with slow drivers.
S, 🌻
2025
The Consequences Of Drinking And Driving
As a recovering alcoholic in a 12-Step program, there is a popular saying about jails and institutions. If I continue to drink I will end up in either or both, if I haven’t already.
While drinking, mix in my yet-to-be diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder’s impulse control traits and dis-regulated emotions, I was out of control.
While under the influence of alcohol I would drive and actually thought I was awesome and should be in a Fast and Furious movie.
It was as if the rules – the law – did not apply to me.
Alcohol changed me into a Mr. Hyde.
The Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde comparison is very appropriate and mentioned in AA’s Big Book (page 21).
I am very fortunate I was not pulled over by the police, especially while living in Qatar.
Currently, I talk openly about my drinking and driving as part of my story within a 12-Step fellowship.
It is a powerful reminder of how progressive, cunning and baffling alcoholism is, and if I pick up a drink – my next stop could be jails or institutions. Even death.
The below picture I keep as a potent reminder of how I do not want to live.
In 2018, while under the influence of alcohol, I drove to Sheik Faisal’s equestrian centre to be with his horses.
I was an emotional wreck and sought their comfort. The manager of the centre found me, brought me in, offered me tea and comfort. She was lovely. Hardened by life, but lovely.
S, 🌻
I’m glad you’re in recovery.
Me, too. I’ve too much to lose. 🌻🌟💛
Thank you for sharing. And I’m glad you’re in recovery. Take one day at a time.
Thank you. 🌻 🙏🏻
Daily prompt is not useful
I’m sober as of December 2024. I have pictures that make me cringe. Sometimes I wear the dress that I was hospitalized in the night I had a psychotic break from too much alcohol, my bpd, and C ptsd. I too spent a lot of time locked in that room wondering if I was going to jail. For me, it would have been the next step. Everyday I’m sober is one step away from jail. It creates anxiety to just write this. But we are safe now. We are safe now. Thank you for sharing. Sometimes I wonder if there are other people who understand the complexity of needing relief from the pain.
We are safe now. 💚 Congratulations on your sobriety!! 🎉🎊🤩🥳☀️💛💛 Mental health support, management and sobriety changes everything for the better. In the 12-Step group I am a part of, there is an entire fellowship of people who understand the complexity of needing relief from pain. With 12-Steps meetings available 24 hours a day via Zoom – my recovery is stronger than ever – because I can keep myself in the middle of the program and fellowship support, every single day. If I drink again, and the progressive nature of addiction, my next stop, too could be jail. It’s inevitable. Losing my marriage would be next. I have too much to lose if I drink and so much to gain in sobriety. There is that saying – I can give up everything for one thing (drink) or I can give up one thing (drink) to have everything. ❤️
I love this so much! Thank you for the encouragement. I have a lot of catching up to up reading to do on your blog!
SO great to hear from you! I hope your summer, so far has been a delight! 🌻
I am very happy for you!
Horses are so smart. They can certainly offer comfort and understanding.