Introduction To My Blog Series: Living Successfully With Borderline Personality Disorder & Histrionic Personality Disorder
I was 27 years old when I entered into the realization that there was something wrong with me and one of the original diagnosis was Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD.
I say something wrong with me because I was just not able to manage my life on my own and somehow knew there was something wrong with my mind.
Back then, not a lot was known about this horribly stigmatized disorder because BPD patients were considered impossible to treat or wrongly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.
Along with BPD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) and Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (DDNOS) were also added to my diagnostic mix.
ADHD was quickly debunked and over the past two decades most professionals leaned towards my having PTSD or a Dissociative Disorder – but something about these disorders never seemed to fit.
Add menopause to the mix and the confusion became even more confusing.
Anxiety
Here are past blogs I’ve written about my struggles with anxiety and what felt like PTSD or DDNOS:
- Managing Anxiety -The Space of No Mind
- Managing Anxiety and the Mind of Choice
- Anxiety – The Antithesis of Personal Connection
- Anxiety & Cannabidiol (CBD) & Exercise
- Trauma, Flashbacks and Dissociative Disorders
- AM I: In a Panic Attack or Trauma Response or Dissociation or Menopause? How Do I Tell The Difference?
My Struggles With Alcoholism
- Mystic Order – Reiki Level IIIA – 21 Day Cleanse – A Miracle Has Happened
- Spiritual Discipline – My Alcohol Addiction – My Story Now
- Personal Development – Cutting the Ties That Bind – Saying Goodbye to Alcohol
- Is Too Much a Choice or Addiction?
- Personal Development – A Wild Woman’s Journey With Drinking and Hedonism While Walking the Spiritual Path
- Personal Development – A Wild Woman’s Slow Transformation Towards Her Best Self
- Reiki Principle For Today – I Will Not Worry
- OYNB – One Year No Beer – This Wild Woman’s Successful Journey of the 28 Day Challenge and Beyond!
- Personal Development – A Wild Woman Walking the Spiritual Path – A Wild Woman Redefined? Absolutely!
- Personal Development – Living Alcohol Free – Musings During Day 78
- Reiki Principle For Today – I Will Do My Work Honestly
- Personal Development – Living An Alcohol Free Life – Year One
- Another Layer
- 365 Days of Sobriety: My Journey and Triggers
- I’m No Longer Ashamed Of Being An Alcoholic
- A Bountiful Bevy Of Sagacious Skills
- A Life Of Sobriety Allows Me Deeper Connection With Family & Friends
- From Domes To Sunflowers – Dogs & Sobriety – While Becoming A Better Self
- The Man Who Reminds Me I Cannot Have Just One Drink
- This Joyful Alcoholic Has Lost Interest In Bar Hopping & Any Type Of Partying
- The Consequences Of Drinking And Driving
- My Favourite People To Be Around
- Proper Mental Health Diagnoses. Feeling Safe. Accepting I Am An Alcoholic.
- Overthinking & The Joys Of Living My Twenty-Four Hour AA Program
- Accepting I Am An Alcoholic
- From Anxiety To Sobriety: My Life Journey From 52 – 56
Present Day
On February 9th, 2022, I had a thorough psychological assessment by a seasoned psychiatrist. At long last, at 52 years old, I was finally properly diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorder.
This blog series called Owning and Unraveling Borderline Personality Disorder & Histrionic Personality Disorder is my way of processing and understanding these complex personality disorders and how they manifest, interfere with and enhance my life.
Perhaps, as it has been said to me from friends who have family members with Borderline Personality Disorder, I can help dispel misconceptions and stigmas associated with these mental illnesses.
And hopefully I can shed some light and more personal information on what living with Histrionic Personality Disorder is like as I review each symptom and diagnostic criteria and how they show up (past or present) in my life.
With hope,
Stephanie, 🩵🌻
DSM-5 Diagnostic Criteria For Histrionic Personality Disorder
According to Theravive :
DSM-5 Category: Personality Disorder
Diagnosis Criteria For: Histrionic Personality Disorder Symptoms:
Symptoms of Histrionic Personality Disorder include the following:
- Shallow, changeable emotions
- Assumed intimacy with others
- Hypersensitivity to criticism
- Manipulative behavior
- Disproportionate emotional reactions
- Sexually provocative behavior
- A compulsive desire for attention
- Preoccupation with appearance
- Suggestible and easily influenced
Diagnosis Criteria For: Histrionic Personality Disorder:
In order to make a diagnosis of histrionic personality disorder, a psychological examination is necessary, along with a general evaluation of the patient’s behavior and overall appearance.
There is no set test to determine whether someone has histrionic personality disorder. Previously, a number of pointers were specified in an earlier edition of the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in order to help clinicians make a diagnosis3).
At least five of the following traits needed to be recorded for a diagnosis to be indicated:
- A compulsion to be the center of attention that results in discomfort if unmet
- Inappropriate sexual, seductive or provocative behavior when interacting with others
- Shallow, rapidly shifting emotions
- The use of physical appearance to draw others’ attention
- Dramatic, impressionistic speech that lacks detail
- Exaggerated, theatrical emotional expression
- Easily influenced by others or situations
- Assumes relationships are more intimate than they are
Suggestible & Easily Influenced
I recognize suggestible and easily influenced as a pathological style of people pleasing to the point where I adopted another’s value to be accepted by them, as well as a way to retain their attention.
While taking an Addictions Counselling Course back in 1999, the psychologist teaching Counselling Skills Levels I & II indicated as such, that I was highly suggestible. That moment burned into my brain – because a trained professional noticed a character trait in me, as I was unable to see myself, so to speak.
I remember in 2022 telling the psychiatrist who assessed and diagnosed me with BPD and HPD that I relied on everyone outside of myself to tell me how to live my life – I never knew I had choices.
Submitting to the way someone wanted me to be was also a way of getting and maintaining their attention.
However, their attention was not always good for me.
In hindsight, I never understood the voice of my intuition screaming at me – DANGER DANGER DANGER – the language of “red flags” was unknown to me.
I am truly lucky I did not fall into the hands of a predatory narcissistic monster or charming antisocial personality disorder/serial rapist or killer.
I’m not saying this to be dramatic – this is a truth. That was how susceptible I was to another human being.
Especially in my twenties and early thirties, even more-so while under the influence of alcohol.
It’s frightening to even think about it.
To this day, I still struggle with being suggestible and easily influenced – but not like I once was.
Since my proper diagnoses in 2022, along with the support of my therapist through Community Mental Health & Addictions (CMHA) and the skills taught to me during a 13 Week Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Group – I am:
Recognizing my values and slowly aligning my life to them.
Learning the language of red flags; those behaviours in others that do not sit comfortably with me.
Learning to set boundaries.
Not submitting to another person’s expectations and values for their attention or approval because I have choices and am not responsible for their life, happiness, acceptance or non-acceptance and their moods.
As well, over the decades, this symptom interfered with my ability to navigate 12-Step programs for alcoholism.
I would adapt to someone else’s way of working the program, rather than listening to my intuition and working a program that was a fit for me.
Since August 1st, 2023, I am now able to stand strong in my 12-Step program, where I can safely align my values with the program’s recommended suggestions to remain sober, one day at a time.
What remains as the most challenging arenas are friendships and the workplace.
I work in a junior high school supporting students who struggle with neurodivergent, behavioural and/or physical conditions.
There are so many women, so many moods, so many opinions in a broken, provincial, publicly funded education system.
Yet, this arena is where I get to practice aligning my values to know who my people are while working and doing what is in the best interest of the children I support.
Personally, being around other people is so challenging for me, it is easier to live a life of isolation with my husband, surrounded by animals we love. Especially after a day at work, in a building filled with approximately 700 humans and the challenges that presents to me.
This year, my husband and I celebrate 10 years of marriage. He is the one person, my person, my best friend.
Along with our pets, that is my limit of people within my inner circle.
People are just too hard for me.
Writing this blog has brought up memories and emotions of gratitude for how lucky I am to still be here, safe and alive.
In my youth, I was so vulnerable out there in a world I did not know how to navigate.
I have a vague memory, at some point in my early twenties, of being at a hospital to volunteer for a test study by a group of medical students.
I did not qualify for it. I then lay on the ground at the door of their office, crying and begging for help. They didn’t know what to do with me.
I knew so very long ago I needed help. However, my story from then until now is my platform for the importance of a proper mental health diagnosis and that a happier life is possible if you’re willing to do the hard work to get there.
S, 🌻
Quick Links To The Blogs In This Series Living Successfully With BPD & HPD:
Borderline Personality Disorder
Forget Everything I’ve Said – I’ve Borderline Personality Disorder & Histrionic Personality Disorder
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Introduction to Symptoms & Causes
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Strong Opinions & Identity Crisis
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Not PTSD – It’s Emotions – Borderline Style
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Empathic Abilities & Intentional Interventions
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Overlapping Symptoms & What Type Of & How BPD Am I?
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Starting EMDR – Creating New Pathways To Calm
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – The Pros and Cons of Medical THC & CBD
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Gratitude For A Wild & Crazy Life
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Behind My Mona Lisa Smile – What BPD Feels Like For Me
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – The Hulk Uses Dialectical Behaviour Therapy
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Coping With The Inner Critic
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Unstable & Fragile Identities
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Highlights Of DBT’s Emotional Regulation Skills
Living With Borderline Personality Disorder – Highlights Of DBT’s Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills
Living With Borderline Personally Disorder – DBT – Skills Thermometer – A DBT Skills Anchor Chart
Histrionic Personality Disorder
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Introduction & Symptoms & Diagnostic Criteria
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Shallow, Changeable Emotions
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Assumed Intimacy With Others
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Hypersensitivity To Criticism
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Manipulative Behaviour
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Sexually Provocative Behaviour
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – A Compulsive Desire For Attention
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Preoccupation With Appearance
Living With Histrionic Personality Disorder – Suggestible & Easily Influenced
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