Originally Published: October 9th, 2019

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5 Principles of Reiki

Just for today, I will not worry

Just for today, I will not be angry

Just for today, I will do my work honestly

Just for today, I will be kind to all living things

Just for today, I will be grateful for my many blessings

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Back in 2015, I experienced multiple horrible events while working at a public school in Halifax.

The summer of that year, I moved to the State of Qatar.

Four years later, I moved back to Nova Scotia, and I have returned to work within this same public school system.

But, this time at a vastly different school in a vastly different location.

With my return to work, intense fears have re-surfaced as a result of those horrible events that happened back in 2015.

A conversation with a co-worker revealed she too worked at a school that traumatized her.

But, I had already been struggling with my mental health for decades. The horrible events I experienced at that school only intensified my challenging mental health difficulties. During this complicated time, I was seeing a private psychiatrist to reevaluate my diagnosis of ADHD. His hourly fees quickly ate up my work benefits of $500.00. Yet, within the three sessions I had with him, without time for a proper diagnosis, he was quick to say PTSD rather than ADHD.

This was not the first time a psychiatrist speculated my having PTSD.

Anyway, what puzzles me is my inability to find, to “see” exactly why I am feeling so much fear.

I have a difficult time discerning what is an imagined fear verses a real fear, both at work and in my personal life.

My mind-set is, “it happened once, it will happen again”.

I am mindful every day about myself, trying to grow. 

I am reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tole. 

He speaks of fear happening when we are focused on the mind, not within our body and in the Now.

When I’m in my mind, I can’t let go of fear.

I think back to all my blogs I’ve written about my fears… will I ever truly be free of it?

Will I ever feel a consistent sense of inner-peace?

S, 🌻

Update: On February 9th, 2022, I had a thorough psychological assessment by a seasoned psychiatrist. At long last, at 52 years old, I was finally properly diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorder. Dialectical Behaviour Therapy significantly helped navigate these diagnoses.

Update: August, 20th, 2025 – I start Cognitive Processing Therapy for trauma responses. I do not have PTSD because I do not experience flashbacks and nightmares.

Now, I am on a path of feeling consistent inner-peace. 🌻

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