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I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) on February 9th, 2022.

Since then, I have focused on learning about them.

I’ve explored how they manifest in me, with the use of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Skills (DBT) to cope.

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A recent Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) assessment was conducted by my therapist at Community Mental Health and Addictions (CMHA).

It indicated I land somewhere in the middle.

I am not full blown PTSD with flashbacks, nightmares and night sweats, etc.

Nonetheless, I do have trauma responses to certain people, places and things.

What is a trauma response?

I guess it begins with a trigger to certain people, places and things.

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Cognitive Processing Therapy

This summer I start a 12-session run of Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT).

The below description is from Psychology Today:

How It Works

Someone who has experienced significant trauma and has developed PTSD as a result may notice that they think very differently about themselves or their environment than they did prior to the trauma. This is often particularly noticeable in the following five areas:

1. Safety: They may doubt their ability to protect themselves and others.
2. Trust: They may question their judgment and/or the judgment and intentions of others.
3. Control: They may feel unable to control their own life or influence the lives of those they care about.
4. Esteem: They may view themselves and/or others differently, perhaps seeing themselves as “broken” or others as “evil.”
5. Intimacy: They may feel incapable of connecting with or being understood by and accepted by others.

These thoughts tend to lead to negative emotions—fear, anxiety, guilt, and anger—and can halt the person’s recovery from PTSD. CPT focuses on teaching a set of skills that will help the person challenge these negative thoughts.

CPT is based on the social cognitive theory of PTSD, which posits that incorporating a traumatic event into one’s worldview is often counterproductive and may lead to maladaptive beliefs. CPT, therefore, focuses on repairing the damage done by a traumatic event to someone’s beliefs about themselves and the world. By offering specific cognitive restructuring skills, CPT allows an individual to challenge these negative thoughts and interpretations (known as stuck points), gain a healthier perspective about the trauma (for example, “While I can’t trust my abuser, I can still trust other people”), cope better with any future trauma, and move forward with their lives.

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Final Piece

CPT is the final piece of the puzzle for me.

My mental health has been properly diagnosed and treated.

My alcoholism is managed, one day at a time, with a 12-Step program.

Now, finally, the trauma responses that get in my way will be treated with CPT.

S, 🌻

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