The last risk I took swept over me in that way when one’s conscience can’t stand the elephant in the middle of the room no one is openly talking about but everyone is talking about (gossip) and when that “elephant” is something very wrong, effecting everyone in a variety of negative ways.
I felt like I was within someone else’s lie. It was absolutely horrible.
My empathic ability to feel everyone’s energy in the room, as well as my nervous system’s constant hyper-vigilance, scanning every small detail for signs of danger (yes, it’s exhausting) told me early on that something was very wrong.
After many months, the stress and weariness of this “unspoken elephant” took its toll on me as I began to feel unsafe at work, unsure of who I could trust.
Then, one day an opportunity presented itself and it was if my body took possession of me, louder than my mind – screaming at me to “Say it!”
I told this person what I sensed and what everyone else was talking about behind their back.
I will leave it at that.
How did this work out for me?
Some viewed it as my being brave, a warrior who did what no one else had the guts to do.
Others told me I should have minded my own business, stuck to my own side of street and not got involved.
While that risk took a huge emotional toll on my mental health, after the fact I am glad I did it.
Was it messy. Yes.
Did I stumble. Yes.
But I did what my body, my conscience screamed at me to do.
And for that, I am at peace.
S, 🌻
What stands out to me is not just the “risk,” but the cost of staying silent for so long. That part often gets ignored.
Speaking up in a room where everyone already knows something is wrong, but no one wants to own it, is rarely clean or rewarded. It almost always leaves you exposed.
You didn’t present it as heroic, and that makes it more real. It was messy, it took a toll, and still you chose to act when your conscience would not let you stay quiet.
People will always split into two groups in these situations. One calls it courage. The other calls it interference. That tension never really goes away.
But the line that stayed with me is this: you acted because you could no longer live with the silence. That says more about integrity than the outcome ever could.
Wow…. I truly appreciate your feedback. Your words, as always, so elegant, wise and clear. I literally exhaled a breath of relief after reading this. Your explanation validates my experience, one that was difficult in every way possible. Thank you. With heart, Stephanie 🌻💛
risk is often double-edged
Agreed. Perhaps an explanation for the definition of the word. 🌻