This question of inaction speaks to me of regret.
Those times in my life where I went against my values and beliefs. When the red flags were screaming at me, but I didn’t understand what they were trying to tell me.
Sadly, this was most of my adult life as I struggled with mental health mis-diagnoses and alcoholism. I felt lost and alone, floundering around like a leaf in the wind, aligning myself to other’s values and beliefs rather than my own authenticity.
During those years, one of my most blaring and regrettable moments of inaction happened in my late thirties. It was an extremely low period in my life. I was still quite naive, extremely vulnerable and truly incapable of understanding my reality.
Long story short, I was seeing a fella I met off a dating site.
Right from the start, I allowed him too much access into my life; this charming con artist swift to take advantage of such an opportunity.
He stole money from me and got away with it because I did not have the ability to accept my reality and use my voice.
While the police were in my apartment investigating this missing money, the proof quietly revealed itself to me, showing how this fella robbed me. I kept quiet. I ignored it.
I remember that revelation like it was yesterday.
I stood there, silent, in shock as the burning, hot lava of painful truth flowed over me. How this fella was the one who robbed me, not the “unknown assailant” bullshit story he created to cover his ass.
I froze like a deer in the head lights.
And what did I do? Nothing. I ignored it.
It was too just painful to admit.
Just too much to take in.
I immediately blamed myself.
How could I have been so stupid.
So, what would I do differently?
If I could go back, I would have given the police the proof right then and there.
S, 🌻
