Cognitive Processing Therapy - Understanding & Learning - The Life Skill Of Trust

CPT Themes

There are five themes that are areas in life that were affected by trauma or as a result of trauma.

These themes are:

Safety
Trust
Power/Control
Esteem
Intimacy

Each theme takes the view of how I view myself and how I view others.

Dreams

Currently, I am a recovering alcoholic in a 12-Step Program with over 2 years of sobriety.

This past week, I’ve had three separate dreams where I made the choice to drink.

Another night this week, I had an awful nightmare where someone was trying to murder me.

In the dream, I was terrified and woke up feeling this way. Covered in night sweats, memories flooded me of a time in my teenage years when a lot of chaos was happening at home.

That week, four nights out of seven I had horrible dreams.

These dreams coincide with the Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) work my therapist and I are doing together on the Theme of Trust.

As I reflect and review the CPT Trust homework, I am truly struggling with it.

My mind goes blank.

Numb.

Even as I brain storm different ways to trust people for the Trust Star, I come up blank.

What Is Trust?

Trust – firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something:

“relations have to be built on trust”

“they have been able to win the trust of the others”

The Skill of Trust

How do I learn the skill of trust?

Below is an AI generated search on the Internet when I asked how to learn the skill of trust:

Acknowledge past experiences – such as past traumas and learned behaviours
Start slowly – take small steps building positive experiences
Practice open communication – create safety by communicating feelings and boundaries that align with my values and beliefs
Recognize red flags – trusting my gut when something does not feel right
Be patient – trust takes time to build

Trust of Self

This week’s CPT on Trust is teaching me that Self-Trust is my ability to trust and rely on my own judgements and decisions.

CPT teaches me – I can tell myself:

I can trust my judgement even though it’s not perfect.

Even if I misjudged this person or situation, it does not mean I cannot trust my judgement or decision making in the future.

No one has perfect judgement. I did the best I could in an unpredictable situation, and I can still trust my ability to make decisions even though it is not perfect.

Trust of Others

As well, there is CPT’s Trust of Others. This is the belief that the promises of other people or groups can be relied upon with regard to future behaviour.

CPT teaches me – I can tell myself:

Although I may find some people to be untrustworthy in some ways, I cannot assume that everyone is always untrustworthy.

Trust is not an all-or-nothing concept. Some people may be more trustworthy than others.

Trusting another involves some risk, but I can protect myself by developing trust slowly and including what I learn about that person as I get to know them.

What I Learn About That Person

I found this so enlightening…. “including what I learn about that person..” as I slowly develop trust.

I guess this is where the life skills of “small talk” and “active listening” help to learn about people.

I’ve discovered that some people are easy to talk to, others not so much.

I would fall under the category of not easy to talk to. I tend to walk away when someone tries to engage in conversation with me.

I do this for a variety of reasons. Either I am in the middle of a task and find it very difficult to stop what I am doing to engage in conversation, or I find something about that person challenging.

I have to teach myself to slow down and engage with others.

Red Flags

For years, I ignored red flags.

Now, I pay closer attention to them.

I still don’t quite understand red flags, as some may be lingering trauma responses to protect me, others more legitimate when I calm and quiet myself to hear my inner truth.

Therefore, when red flags do happen such as a person with many negative behaviours that do not align with my values and beliefs or is make blaming statements towards me, CPT teaches me – I can tell myself: