Guest Blog Post

I’ve been asked by blogger da-Al to submit a guest blog for her site Happiness Between Tails.

This is the blog I have written to submit for approval, but I am over by about 800 words and cannot, at this time, successfully copy this version into an email.

I like this blog so much, I am going to publish it myself.

I poured my heart into it while taking a wonderful walk down memory lane.

In the meantime, I will edit and revise another version of this blog that fits the criteria of about 600 words and one I can hopefully and successfully copy and paste into an email.

I hope you enjoy this blog as much as I enjoyed writing it!

S, 🌻

 How I Got Into Blogging

I cannot remember how I got into blogging.

I remember the purpose, the why I started blogging.

To create a timeline, a memory of the biggest risk I’ve ever taken

A risk that began in September of 2015.

A Memoir Of Romance

The story goes like this…

October, 2014, I received a message from a man sent via an online dating site.

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Michael’s first message to me via that dating site was, in jest, asking me to marry him.

Why?

I had one very specific condition on my online dating profile, a condition I made very clear: I am not a booty call. I am looking for marriage.

His message asking to marry me, and profile photos that included him flying a plane, caught my eye.

After an important initial discussion, clarifying a few realities of:

• Michael was looking to meet a woman living in Nova Scotia as that is where his daughter and grandchildren live and where he eventually wants to settle down
• He was currently working overseas in the Middle East, in the State of Qatar
• He asked if I would ever want to live in a dome home
• I was looking to take things slow – I was tired of making impulsive relationship decisions
• I was very serious about marriage, I had had it with common-law relationships

We seemed okay with each other’s terms.

We decided to start a long-distance romance.

December, 2014 – He flew from Qatar to Nova Scotia for Christmas Break to spend time with his family and meet me for the first time.

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March, 2015 – Michael flew me to Qatar for a week.

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April 25th, 2015 (my birthday) – While traveling in Jordan, Michael sent me flowers with a letter asking me to marry him. I accepted his proposal. So much for my “taking things slow.”

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August 18th, 2015 (his birthday) – We married on a dock in Lower Prospect, Nova Scotia. A few days later my new husband returned to his job in Qatar.

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August 31st, 2015 – I said goodbye to my mom, family and friends and all that was my life in Nova Scotia to start a new life in a Muslim country with a man I barely knew, and married on impulse.

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September 1st, 2015 – I set foot in Qatar.

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Since that dating site message on October, 2014, Michael and I had been together in person, maybe a total of 42 days. About 6 weeks.

I will never forget our first night together as man and wife in the Middle East.

We sat in his cramped, made for a bachelor sized apartment, looking at each other.

I looked at him and said, “I’m scared, are you.”

His reply, “Yes.”

Our whirlwind romance and newly married life as expats in the Middle East seemed worthy of writing about.

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A Photo Album Of Adventures

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During our 4 years together in the Middle East, we traveled to 26 countries.

Blogging became a way to preserve our travel stories, our memories with pictures; lending us a nice way to reflect back on our adventures when we’re older and starting to forget things.

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September, 2015 – Muscat, Oman – Our Honeymoon – Climbing up a steep, rocky ledge to a lookout located along the Muttrah Corniche.

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An Advocating Voice For Mental Health & Alcoholism

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I was 27 years old when I entered into the realization that there was something wrong with me and one of the original diagnosis was Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD. 

I say something wrong with me because I was just not able to manage my life on my own and somehow knew there was something wrong with my mind. 

Back then, not a lot was known about this horribly stigmatized disorder because BPD patients were considered impossible to treat or wrongly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. 

Along with BPD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) and Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (DDNOS) were also added to my diagnostic mix.

ADHD was quickly debunked and over the past two decades most professionals leaned towards my having PTSD or a Dissociative Disorder – but something about these disorders never seemed to fit. 

Add menopause to the mix and the confusion became even more confusing.

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February 9th, 2022 – I had a thorough psychological assessment by a seasoned psychiatrist.

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At long last, at 52 years old, I was finally properly diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorder.

I have a blog series called Living Successfully With Borderline Personality Disorder & Histrionic Personality Disorder.

This is my way of processing and understanding these complex personality disorders and how they manifest, interfere with and enhance my life. 

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August 1st, 2023 – My most current sobriety date.

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I have a history of alcoholism.

My alcoholic drinking and unmanaged BPD is woven throughout the back story of Michael and I’s whirlwind romance, our life in the Middle East, our travels and our time back in Canada.

For the past year I have worked diligently on both my alcoholism and my BPD.

I currently have over a year of continuous sobriety with the support of a 12-Step program.

As well, with the support of a seasoned therapist, I’ve recently completed a 13 Week Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) Group. DBT is a therapy specifically created for those with BPD.

I feel I have reached all resources for living successfully with BPD. The rest is up to me to incorporate DBT as a daily BPD tool.

Next, I will focus writing about what living with Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) is like and how to successfully navigate it.

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What Blogging Has Been Like For Me

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I’m been blogging for almost 10 years.

Blogging has been:

• A diary
• A way to sort through my emotions and thoughts
• A way to see myself in the world
• A creative outlet
• A timeline of my life to witness my growth as a woman who was once so wild and impulsive to a woman who is settling into a mature, spiritually attuned version of herself
• A spiritual outlet with my blog series, Usui Shiki Ryoho – A Wild Woman Walking the Spiritual Path
• A showcase for Michael’s Geodesic Dome Home project
• A timeline of my writing abilities that have hopefully matured over the years
• A timeline of understanding all the available options WordPress offers – I still understand very little of it
• A project of going back and wanting to edit and revise every blog I written – I’ve written over 1000 blogs
• A project to label every photo I have published here
• A tedious and time consuming project as I edit and revise my blogs, while labeling the photos with it
• A nice walk through memory lane as I edit and revise travel blogs and label the photos with it
• A labour of love
• A memoir of romance
• A photo album of adventures
• A voice for Borderline Personality Disorder and Histrionic Disorder and alcoholism

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Me Then Me Now

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I look at myself in 2015 and feel so many emotions of who I was and how far I have come.

I truly am grateful I risked it all.

S, 🌻

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